Cast your mind back to your days at school. Maybe you’re even still there. Some of us remember with fondness the friends made and the tricks learned. Others shudder at the memory. As Ferris Buehler once said, licking the palms of your hands is childish and stupid, but then again so is High School. As he also once said, life moves pretty fast. Before you know it you’re out in workplace and confronted with a whole range of challenges for which you are totally unprepared.

How do you use your communication skills?

Many of these challenges are not concerned with technical ability to do the job. Much of it is down to the application of this ability. In other words how you use good old-fashioned communication skills. The skills we learned on the playground rather than in class. The skills honed in the pursuit of popularity and happiness rather than top grades. This doesn’t change as you progress in your career either. 96% of employers see interpersonal skills as the most effective trait in business. A substantial proportion of hiring managers and bosses seeking to promote staff look to soft skills such as communication skills as the main barometer of career success.

There is a strong case emerging in our connected online world for communication skills. As such we thought we’d share with you the top five things they never taught you at school about communication skills. Enjoy and then go forth and communicate!

1. How to tell a convincing story

We all know someone who can spin a fantastic yarn. We’ve all been spellbound, as they have woven their tale. We’ve laughed and cried at the well-constructed rollercoaster of narrative that was their story. What made it great though was all in the delivery. The pauses for effect, the eye contact, the dramatic embellishments. In reality we all have this in us. Consider a time in your life (even in childhood) where you were that person. We’ve all had a moment like that. What was it that led you to be so convincing that day? Can you harness it again?

2. How to share a brilliant idea

There is no such thing as a brilliant idea, only a well-argued idea. If you are in the business of sharing creative thinking then this is an important point. Whether it’s a new business idea, a creative pitch, a funding application or simply a new initiative you want to take to your boss you need to argue it well. Build a case lawyer style for your idea. What evidence do you have that your idea is in fact brilliant? Take any subjectivity out of the equation so it becomes about the idea itself rather than the taste of any one individual, including you.

3. How to get people to like you and your network

They always find me in the kitchen at parties. It’s a shame that so many people consider themselves emotionally unattractive. Through this mindset we often don’t meet our full potential. The concern and need to be liked often started at school and is carried with us throughout our professional careers. Your network is an important asset in so many ways. When people trust you things get done. You can make promises that will be delivered upon because people will be keen to help. Reach out and start talking. Go first to those you know and respect. From this ‘safe zone’ you will be amazed at how this will snowball into an accomplished and natural network with you at the epicentre.

4. How to not get taken advantage of

It’s a tough one. School doesn’t teach us this although the playground sometimes does. Consider those situations in your life where you have worked with others and they have let you down or you have been manipulated into a situation of discomfort. What happened? What could you do have done differently? Is there a pattern of behaviour that may require you to change some of the things you do with others? The school of hard knocks will keep knocking unless you learn to roll with some of the punches and dodge the others. Reflecting and learning is key to this process.

5. How to read the emotions of others

We graduate from schools and universities well versed in the ways of writing exams, Harvard referencing and technical skills. This means that we expect our world to run on rails just like it does in the textbooks. We forget that we are unpredictable, emotional human animals and prone to moments of passion and excitability. What we also forget is that such emotions are extremely powerful contingents of our success. Observe your fellow humans. We say so much without words and absorb so much without listening. What can you learn about the ways we communicate using raw emotions? How can you harness this to help you be successful at points 1-4?

So whether you loved school or not we don’t live in a vacuum. In order to be happy and successful we need to get out there and connect with our fellow humans. Prosperity and wellbeing awaits those who do.