Hands up if you are really scared of something (now be honest). Spiders? That’s always popular. Snake bite? That’s a good one. Lightning strike is also up there, along with shark attack, heights and crowds. These phobias tap into something primeval within us. When challenged we can’t often even explain logically why we have the fear. It just comes over us and it seems there is nothing we can do about it. It’s like an out of body experience over which we have no or limited control. Our authenticity goes out of the window.

Why is speaking in public terrifying?

When it comes to communication the thing considered one of the most natural is in fact one of the most terrifying. There is even a phobia attached to it: ‘glossophobia’ – the fear of public speaking. Indeed in a recent U.S. public survey it was THE most terrifying, with 25.3% of respondents listing it above death as the number one fear. One survey participant went so far as saying: ‘I’d rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy’. Side effects can include – nausea, increased heart rate, sweaty palms, dry throat and an intense desire to run away and hide.

Sound familiar? Given its rating as the top public fear you are clearly not alone. In fact Prince Harry recently confessed in a British tabloid interview that he suffers from nerves and anxiety before he faces a crowd or group.  So if even the Royals get it, what can we do? Being an effective communicator is increasingly important in both the workplace and at home. As technology advances and many traditional jobs are being made obsolete our unique human qualities of engagement and interaction remain original, authentic and irreplaceable (for now at least).

One of the keys to handling the fear of speaking in public is to reflect on a time when it simply didn’t matter what others thought of us. Often this natural state is in childhood when we were the uber-confident, natural communicators we were designed to be. In effect it is when we were at our most genuine, authentic selves, before the ‘layers’ and complexities of adolescence and adulthood seeped in.

Authenticity is a new hot topic in leadership and communications circles

Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg advises her executives to ‘make it personal’ when sharing vision and values with teams and clients. By putting a personal investment into the mix it tends to elevate the value of the message and the importance of effective delivery. This helps people overcome nerves as they focus more on the audience and the outcomes. Social Intelligence research has identified authenticity as a key driver of our ability to interface successfully with our fellow human. It’s a social skill learned in the playground but leveraged in the boardroom as we develop our instincts and abilities to read one another.

How to be authentic when facing your phobia

1. Do what you normally do

Often we try and put on a professional ‘façade’ or use a formal public speaking voice when in presenting mode. This is often exacerbated in training courses where you are encouraged to ‘be the trainer’ rather than be yourself. By trying hard to use the words you use in everyday situations you will feel much more comfortable and at ease. You will also come across as much more natural, trustworthy and genuine.

2. Focus on the audience

make it about them, not about you. If you can pay attention to them and their needs you will start to slowly forget your own fears. Equally they will be much more responsive to you because you have listened and responded to them. This will make you feel more confident – and more yourself.

3. Don’t over-prepare

This advice flies in the face of conventional wisdom. This wisdom suggests making sure you have all your slides ready with 100 back up slides and detailed leave behind documents in case anyone asks you a question. In order to come across as authentic we suggest whilst preparation is key, over-preparation can have the opposite effect. You will end up trying to remember too much which will foster your anxiety. You will also have too much detail, thus alienating your audience and conveying the impression of a ‘set piece’ rather than an engaging message delivered from the heart.

4. Don’t overthink

As mentioned earlier logic goes out the window when a phobia sets in. Once this thought cycle begins it is very difficult to make it stop. This will lead to a fearful rather than authentic presentation. The scared ‘you’ isn’t the real ‘you’. The fear will build unless you can set yourself to work on something else. Put it down and don’t allow yourself time to think about the consequences of your fear. Try hard to ignore it by giving yourself a range of other distractions: work, exercise, or a conversation with a friend.

5. Listen to your body

As with all phobias the fear of public speaking manifests often in physiological responses. Can you get in tune with these responses? We are all different and unique in this regard. Some people flush red or shake. Others still have trembling voices or fidget. What are your specific flight/fight responses as your body becomes awash with adrenaline? Can you use simple breathing techniques, pre-presentation exercises or muscle (including butt!) clenching to relieve the tension?

Authentic: How to be yourself

Combining these five approaches is like eating a Snickers bar: they will make you feel surprisingly more like yourself. This will come across to your audience and the message will be yours, will be real and will be far less scary.

Now let’s get back to cuddling spiders on top of tall buildings during thunderstorms. Good luck!