‘Video Killed the Radio Star’ was released in 1979. It predicted the, then new, MTV phenomenon would change the way we consumed music: ‘rewritten by machine and new technology’ as the song puts it. It was kind of right. We still listen to the radio but technology has certainly revolutionised the way we communicate. As far back as the 1940s, the economist Joseph Schumpeter coined the phrase ‘creative destruction’. Creative destruction illustrates how new innovations replace the seemingly indispensable. Electric lighting replacing gas, mobile phones replacing payphones, iPod replacing Walkman. The list goes on. Digital communication seems to be replacing a whole range of traditional channels. It represents a serious social and cultural ‘game changer’ as we download, share and express ourselves digitally. What does this mean for our interpersonal skills? And how can we improve interpersonal skills with one another? After all, while we can meet online we can only fall in love by actually, physically getting together.

There is much written about how the internet is killing our interpersonal skills. In restaurants we see people on dates gazing into their screens rather than into each other’s eyes; on our streets we wander connected to our mobile email or Facebook page rather than the people and places around us. I saw someone walk into a tree whilst texting last week. The media portrays our teenagers as troubled, lonely, obese and isolated. Despite this, we are the most connected generation in human history. However, is this all really true? After all, much of our societal infrastructure is still very dependent on us actually getting together. Schools, workplaces, civic spaces and the majority of our cultural and leisure activities still feed our need as social beings for human interaction.

Let’s celebrate interpersonal communication but also recognise the changes that come with creative destruction. Here are our top tips on how to improve interpersonal skills in a digital world.

1. Get in Touch with Your Human Nature

We are wired to be social. Studies in neuroscience and anthropology suggest that our social environment has a significant effect on how we are shaped as human beings. When our social bonds are threatened or removed it has a profound impact on our wellbeing. It can affect our personal development and even our health. While we may not like the idea that we are genetically programmed as social beings, let’s accept the scientific fact that it is so and enjoy it.

2. Use Social Media to be Physically Social

How often do we use the range of media at our disposal to share something? Cat videos, how we are feeling today, why we hate our job, which Game of Thrones character we might be. It’s only really the tip of the iceberg. We can use social media far more than we actually do as an enabler of human gathering. The events and groups we build can help us reach out, help those in need and simply get together. Get in to the habit of setting up a time and a place to meet with your friends or family at least once a week, commit to it and then get everyone there via social media. Simple you say! How often do you actually do it? Why not think about how to improve interpersonal skills daily?

3. Reignite Your Passion for People

One of the great things about digital communication is that we can indulge in the extraordinarily diverse range of human creative expression. Everyone and everyone is out there creating and then sharing it – with us. It is inspirational to consider how amazingly ingenious we are as a species. What can you do to join the party? Much of what we see today is co-created. People have got together to build wonderful art forms for us to enjoy. What can you do by getting together with your friends and harnessing the power of social creativity?

4. Use Digital to be in the Know

As we are so connected it is a useful way to find out what’s going on. All the time. Any time. Instead of hiding behind digital communication ,use it as a way to explore your physical environment. What is happening today? There will be something of interest designed by people like you taking place nearby. That’s a certainty. In the old days you would be lucky to hear about it. Now you can reach out to like-minded folks, broaden your horizons, learn something new and most importantly connect physically.

5. Improve Interpersonal Skills – On and Offline

Research suggests that if we want to master a new and substantial skill such as playing an instrument it requires 10,000 hours of commitment. Because our need for human social connection is so hard wired (see point 1) our brains devote their spare time to understanding our social world. A study by social researchers in the U.S. in 2013 revealed that on average we have committed 10,000 hours to developing our social interpersonal skills before we even reach the age of 10. Consider how you can devote time to reading your social world and connecting with others. It is a skill that is rewarded with personal fulfillment and professional success.

So, embrace the new world of digital but celebrate the ancient lore of physical. It is in all of us and it’s not going anywhere soon. Let’s get together and think about how to improve interpersonal skills in our everyday lives.

Contact us for more information on how Social Agility can help you and your team to level up your interpersonal skills.