Have you ever seen that UK show where two comedians explore the diet and lifestyle of our forebears in history? It features such gastronomical delights as Romans eating duck’s tongue. It also shows our grandparents’ generation walking everywhere and engaged in manual labour. Imagine the abs on your Nan and Grandad when they were young!

Sitting is the new smoking

Work has changed radically for many of us. Technology, automation and knowledge have led us towards more sedentary careers. In response we have become stressed and unhealthy. Now we are reclaiming our wellbeing through the same technology – fitbits, health apps and uber-style ‘holistic’ gym memberships. We have come to the realization that as work no longer provides it, we have to build health into our daily routines. Maybe the old school abs are back within our reach?

Alone, together?

How about our soft skills? As we have engaged with technology we have also become socially flabby. Hands up if you have sent emails, texts or social media messages to someone sitting next to you at work? Why ask a stranger for directions when you have Google maps? Sherry Turkle’s book ‘Alone Together’ evidences the rise of the silent workplace, restaurant date or family gathering as our noses are in our phones. We have also seen evidence of the importance of soft skills in the aforementioned knowledge economy. We are increasingly collaborative at work and yet have clearly lost some of the ability to engage with our fellow humans. Our soft skills, like our abs, need work – and practice – to build them up and keep them tight. As with our physical agility, we need to build social agility into our daily routine. By doing so we can improve our soft skills, engage more effectively with others and be happier and successful both at work and at play.

Time to have a go and build your soft skills

We all know practice makes perfect. So, with that in mind, here are five simple things you can do every day to help build your soft skills and fight the antisocial flab.

1. Practice listening – actively

Research shows we listen on average only 25% of the time. Try working on being present with a colleague. Ditch the tech for a just a few minutes and engage with what they are saying to you. Look for the non-verbal signs. How are they feeling today? Can you even tell?

2. Share an idea – unconditionally

Got something you feel passionate about? Of course you do. We all do. How often do you share it? I don’t mean that inspirational quote or new bar you found on Facebook. Something close to your heart. Share it with someone. Five minutes in and your excitement and passion will be infectious. Just spare the politics. We’re all over that right now.

3. Talk to yourself – positively

We all have an inner critic. You know that voice that tells you it’s going to go wrong. That you will stuff it up. Take five – or even three –  to ignore it. Focus on the inner coach. The nice, friendly one that says you look good, are popular and can DO this.

4. Have a conversation – surprisingly

Previous blogs have celebrated the power of diversity in a group. Go and have a chat to someone at work you don’t normally speak to. No need to make it contrived and don’t overthink it. Just a casual chat. Practice that listening and you will be surprised what you will find out. By venturing outside your usual circle you will build soft skills, confidence and learn something new.

5. Consider your style – reflectively

On the way home sit quietly for a few minutes. Think about your day and all the social interactions you had. Everything from the important meeting with the boss to the casual and fleeting chat with the barista. What did you learn today? Can you remember details of the conversation and more importantly the body language of the day?

So, when you are planning your day and grimacing at the thought of planks or pushups, suck it up and add another 15 minutes’ worth of exercise on the list – this time for your soft skills. Trust us, it’s good for you. As the man said:

“Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.”

– Brian Tracy